3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
