I want to walk on stilts...naked
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
