M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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