yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
