Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
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