Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
