You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize