I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
