As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
