You're completely useless in the revolution.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
