Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
