btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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