How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
