forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
