i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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