Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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