1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
