I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Randomize
