So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
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