watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
