where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
