He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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