Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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