someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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