i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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