My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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