U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
