There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I understand Curling. That high.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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