you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
