He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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