The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
