drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
