Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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