yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
