it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
