I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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