Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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