Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
