WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
