yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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