Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped