My Higher Power is John Stamos
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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