I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.