Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love