he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast