Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...