She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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