Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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