Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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