I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
