I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
