This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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