Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
