Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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