yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
