I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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