Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
