at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
