Dual....:-)
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
