Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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