Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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