He kissed a someone with a penis
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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