Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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