I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
