My underwear smells like fireworks.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just want nice things and good sex
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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