You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
