I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Randomize
